can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
