very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
