she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
