my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
