My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
