Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
