We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
