Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
