I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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