I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize