david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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