dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
we should paint friendship bongs
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