I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
