I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We talked him into tasing himself.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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