I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Come on in and take your pants off
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