I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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