Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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