I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
