Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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