break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
