im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize