Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
