evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
