Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
