i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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