My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
