I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
