You really coming over, don't trick.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
