I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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