Just fell off a train. Bad.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
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