Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
