2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
