Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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