doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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