Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
