Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
