Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
