Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
