i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
