FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
