Plan B is the new Plan A
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
