I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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