afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
