We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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