he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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