I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
