can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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