Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
