you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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