school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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