his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
