hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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