so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
