I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
NoShamevember. You game?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
