Is it because I queefed?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
