Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
