i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
