So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
