The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
