guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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